after i heard from my mom of what happened for the past few days, i find myself so hollow for some reason.

is it really my choice of this external impact i am receiving
which creates this hole of shallowness
it really isnt my fault if i were
actually to be apathetic

it is supposed to be that age of "glory"
the age of maturing
i've experienced the pain and hurt
but what about those
of happiness?

considered to be an "adult"
i should be able to make those decisions
changing the way the thoughts run through
having that ability to sense or to feel
what is considered to be "love"
and which nolonger exist
in my life.

i am no longer willing to give nor to receive,
though it does not mean i have no feelings
or maybe it can be interpreted as that feelings are buried down inside
not even it is sensable to myself.
and together with the creation of this
APATHETIC Jayy

really shouldnt be like this, if things hadnt turn out the way it has been.

~Dee.Jayy~