Monday, August 31, 2009
The dreaded results

As the title suggests, we received some of our trial results. I didnt get the marks i was hoping for in english and i was quite dissapointed. If you get good marks congrats woot woot, but keep it to yourself. Just shut it. It is so god damn annoying cause no one wants to know you got full marks for a stupid english essay. Geeze, save the glory for another time.

Most people have been annoying me these days. Its like their personality and mine have been replaced with 'chalk and cheese' instead of a magnet. The things you do here and there really bug me, and there is nothing i can do about it. Its just easier to block it all out, nodd occasionally here and there wen they ask you a question. And just catch a glimpse of them in the corner of your eye.

Its amazing how things can change so fast... amazing how a person can change so fast.

I just want to be freeeeeeeeeee, let this nightmare end :(

[yes im feeling a tad emo right now lols..]

 

Posted at 8/31/2009 9:48:00 pm by identicaltwins
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Saturday, August 29, 2009
回忆-in production -update1

Chap3 桥
所有的事情都有着他们独特的关联,有的时候我也希望自己能有预见的能力,这样就不用在人生路上依靠着陌生人。在很喜欢的两个人之间,这种关系也成立了。其实有这么两个人,大家在一起都算是朋友,但对于他们,又有着那种想依赖,却过分依赖就会造成伤害的感觉。这种友情的关系就这么一直维持下去,偶尔问问好,因为学校离的很近,所以偶尔会见面,但毕竟是高三了,课程不一样见面的机会还是少了。可在两年前的时候这种友谊很像胶水,每天上学前,放学后,都会黏在一起。 也许是怀旧了,到现在这个岁数突然很怀念那种如胶似漆的感觉。想想不可能了。也许就是这种原因促使我写了这些东西吧,不过真的不想忘,以后人真的老了的时候回头看看会觉得这些年代很有意思吧。
那个时候有了这两个人做朋友,心理上有个寄托也是不错的
搭建了这种友谊关系后,想要喜欢上别人算是很容易的事,也许,真的喜欢上L是这么容易。

Chap4 插曲

以前总是那么白痴,还说什么不求长久,只求曾经拥有那种话,反过来想想,真的很傻。说白了,爱情应该是那种,一巴掌拍不响,两巴掌打在一起又会很疼的那种关系。而且谁都会有些小坎坷,但从这些坎坷中学习在才应该是最重要的吧。突然发觉,说到感情的事,我还是面对的太早了,而且太快了。由于这些关系反而没能好好的琢磨与了解感情真正的意义。当时初见L的时候他还是别人的男友,我也不好说什么,毕竟当时我也有男友。可谁想得到,在我们都有恋人的同时喜欢上了对方。也许因为腼腆的缘故,谁都没说什么,直到他又有了新的女友,而我们的朋友看着我们越发的暧昧促进我们关系的时候,才完完全全的挑明了最初的感觉。

 

总觉得跟他在一起的时候学到了很多,毕竟小时候,还不懂得。我们两个在一起的时间算是最长的,虽说在这段感情中间有人打断我们,但直到前些日子,我们说了说心里话的时候,才知道,不光我在留恋那段感情,他也是。

 

真正谈恋爱的时候,根本没有感觉到有多幸福,就算在别人的眼里我们很幸福。我们当时在一起的时间真的是少之更少,有点滑稽,就算在一起,也会是因为别人在的缘故,而不是单独的约会,并且手都不会牵一下。但为了他,我给了他想要的,也许是那种少年轻狂,争相享受刺激的年代,或许是为了挽留。我们两个都是蟹子,有点敏感,有点悲伤。那时我总觉得被他利用,毕竟他和之前的女友真的是很甜蜜,至少看似这样。可现在反应过来,那种也许不是利用,而是我没有完完全全的了解他。

 

两次分手,都是他提出来的,每次总是我在回忆着,留恋着,我求着他,说再给我们一次机会,他心软了。直到现在越发的感觉,就是因为那心软,才导致了这么多的过失。感情的事,如果没有了,就不要再拖了,拖得越久,就会受更多的伤。可能因为寂寞的缘故,在拍拖,分手,又一次拍拖的途中,我找了另一个人。当前就先命名这个人为X好了,实在想不起他的名字了,抱歉。跟这个人在一起,就一个字,烦。我终于领会到了那种24/7不停打电话,发短信,被监督着的感觉,那种没有了自由与隐私的感觉,尤其是在我真的对他没感情的情况下,那种压迫力,有点过头了。为了挽回我跟L的感情,再度的坦白,坦白我对他的感情,他同意了,可是更冷漠了,也许他也意识到了这不是一种好心就能解决的问题。

 

在我看来,他,L,是个好男人,不管以前,还是现在,作为朋友,或男朋友。在他身上我花费了当时我所有的精力,为了让他开心,明明知道他说的谎话,我也不会去说破他,毕竟,男人嘛,总要给他们留点面子,要不然他们以后怎么在面对你。他现在和他的女朋友过得很好,很长的一段时间,我也很感激,在我身边又多出了这么一对找到伴侣的人们。我想我要的,已经不是物质或是身体上的,而是那种久远的柏拉图。。。

 

to be continued...

Posted at 8/29/2009 5:29:34 pm by identicaltwins
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I'm a Freak.

first off i wanna start by saying:


YESSSSSS!

trials are over.

ok, i feel better now :) it was a big relief, i didnt think i would get THAT stressed coz im not really an exam stresser but i was - unfortunately. so yesterday was Friday, and it was the first time i had socialised in about 3 weeks. Meike Sarina and I called each other up on thursday night at about 10 oclock? and ended hanging up at 2.30ish - good times xD

Friday we met up at 12, but whatdya know Sarina comes at 12.30 ahah she was making sushi so thats why she was late. We make our way to Tea Inn order our food, and Sarina discovers *dun dun dun A HAIR AND AN EYELASH! and Meike discovered ANOTHER HAIR in her soup, entangled with the noodles and submerged in the liquid. mmmm yummy xP we tell the waiter - she says: "nono, that can not be a human hair it is a cow hair!! :)"  and i say: "but the meat doesnt arrive here with its hair still on it..."  she was abit speechless. we also had Pearl problems.

We went to our park =] hung out there for a few hours i think. then had afternoon tea and 85degs. we all ordered blueberry puddings, sarina got a special drink thats coffee with SALT. meike - an iced green tea of sum sort... o_O and i got a passionfruit green tea. was quite good.

then we shopped around in an asian shop, was quite an adventure lol we went through each and every aisle while meike was holding the heavy basket for us xP then got bak around 6.30ish. what a fun day =D

HOWEVER, you would think that sounds tiring dont u? walking around places, eating ALOT. well i would think so too, except i ended up going to bed after 5.30 in the morning. yes i am a freak. im in the middle of having a major organisation in my room, and i got even more motivation from this girl on youtube. she is a bit OCD - maybe thats why. then i found this huge canvas i had been working on, and painted it black. im going to get some stencils from Spotlight today, and make a painting from it then hang it up in my room.

got heaps of things to do today - so better get cracking :)
HAPPY ORGANISING!

<3 blue.sky x

Posted at 8/29/2009 12:18:27 pm by identicaltwins
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Thursday, August 27, 2009
回忆-in production

PROLOGUE
其实我写这个东西也不是为了别人,大部分都是为了自己。有的时候回头看看,也有很多值得珍惜的回忆,用写的方式把这些记忆保存起来总比放在脑海里,想要去想起来的时候糊里糊涂的想不起来得好。

其实这段感情路,走得并不是很顺畅,路上坑坑洼洼的,偶尔不小心摔倒,再爬起来继续走。 但我从没有现在这种前所未有的迷茫与不信任,而反之,我也希望我的感情有所寄托,不必再这么孤单的一个人。

有的时候很难想象,像我这种人,没有男朋友,说出去,居然有人不信。好像我真的是那种玩世不恭,又缺了男人不能活得女人。说真的我不是,可是自己一个人的时候,又多了那么一层哀伤。

CHAP 1 男①号
第一次有真正的男朋友的时候真的很小,想想当时才14岁,可他,也没多大,就比我大两岁。当时很怕,怕家长知道,其实我生来是个胆小鬼,但谁又不胆小,所有人都有他们害怕的,没有的人是超人。那个时候也许是在我所有的恋情里刻骨铭心的一段。因为还小,所以不懂感情,以为单单付出,就可以得到回报。但最后,撕心裂肺的伤感总会把我们拉回真实的世界里。在那种混沌的情况下,我以为自己得到的,是幸福,是天堂。 也许幸福感是存在的,因为随着人生的成长,也明白了感情的种种,可是关于天堂,和当时所说的那一辈子,信任已经完完全全的瓦解了。 现在翻翻照片,看看日记,才发现自己很怀旧,像人们说的,当你失去了才会珍惜,但是这种失去,不会有让我重新来过的机会。

那年我们在一起的时间并不长,说尽了各式各样的海誓山盟,但最终还是因为距离的原因而疏远了对方。直到前两年我才真正明白,为什么当时我没有好好的相信他,为什么我们最终没有在一起。那时我才意识到,真正受过伤后,才会明白,信任,一文不值,更别说相隔两地的情人们。

这段初恋,可以说是让我吃尽了苦头。这种相隔两地,默默的思念,不管多少个日月过去以后,还会有着那种暧昧参杂着的感情而产生的这种痛,我并不知道是不是只有我一个人在忍受着。他是一个什么都不爱说,不管什么都放在心底的男人。最初,我承认是被他这种成熟的气质而迷惑,久而久之,这种迷惑却变成了一种搞懂他思想的推动力。或许因为我们两个人本来可以敞开心扉的交流,可因为时间与地理之差,而导致了分离的最终原因。反反复复,这段隐隐约约的感情维持了四年之久,这段时间里我也学会了长大,慢慢的了解了他最初的想法。但现在了解又有什么用呢,并不代表说我了解了时间就可以倒退,退回到我们在一起的时光。

作为一只蟹子,我拥有着那种独特的第六感,从每个方面来看,现在的他找到了自己的幸福。虽说这种幸福并不只是开心,也包括了各种各样的酸甜苦辣,在我看来,他很在乎她,而她也很在乎他。为了这段成长的时光,我真的应该好好的谢谢他,是他在最初的时候教会了我爱的感触,伤的痛楚。有了这个开端,我才能明白这种当时说的-大人们的感情世界。虽说现在偶尔还是会想起他,但我并不希望自己是一个坏女人,看着别人幸福,我没有那种去破坏的原动力,而我自己也变成了为他们的幸福而庆祝的伤痛。

CHAP2-庆幸
在适当的时候,遇到能陪伴自己的人时能值得我们庆幸的一件事,也许只有这些故事的发生,而让我自拔。当时遇见恒也许是一种缘分,他在我最受伤的初恋的时候出现在我的面前,带着温度的安抚,让我慢慢变得安心,跟他在一起时真的很开心。但网恋毕竟是网恋,就算他是我曾经的好友的哥哥,还是会外带着那一圈的不安,让自己变得没有安全感。我想在他的陪伴下,度过的那一段时间虽说没有激烈的步伐,反而是那种过日子的感觉。每天问好,聊天,打电话,发短信,不管在何时何地,我知道他就在那边。当时的我也是傻到可以,放弃了这可以让自己喘气的空间。但也许我的想法是更现实的,毕竟当时还小,不知道以后会变成什么样,不管再多的约定,也不一定能完成。
 
经过那段算是比较长的时间,我越发的看出两个人的区别与之间存在的距离,被一个爱自己反而没办法爱他们的人,似乎是比较痛苦的,当然原因在于没有了选择权的自由。在他人看来被一个人从里到外的关爱看似很幸福,可又有谁想得到这种被保护的感觉,好像有点过分。虽说他对我真的没挑剔,生日礼物,也使用邮寄的方式,一定要交到我手里,就连我的父亲,他也能想到要买礼物。这种温馨的时段似乎达不到我的要求,他总是那么过分的关心,就算是网恋,但还是没有了自己的余地,这种关系最终还是以分离而结束的。
在外界有很多人都不愿意低头道歉,好比如我,就算知道自己做错了,还是倔强的不想道歉。人生中也会有很多的过客,深,就曾经是那么一位,怎么说呢,比较重要的过客。 不知道他会不会在意,但我只能对他说那么一句 -抱歉,谢谢- 他帮助了我很多很多。其实跟深在一起的时候很单纯,但我真的很抱歉。。。伤了他的心,不管是有意与否。很短的一段日子,也就一个月左右,但从此,我却特别的对篮球有了关注,而这些,是他带给我的。可想而知,外界的影响会改变一个人多少。可惜,又再次的错过了一个本来在一起可以幸福,但没有办法爱上的人。有的时候想想,这也许就是所谓的c’est la vie。人生不会事事如意。

[tobe continued...]

Posted at 8/27/2009 11:12:30 pm by identicaltwins
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Tuesday, August 04, 2009
insomnia.

its a tuesday morning, at 1.23AM and im not tired. wth is wrong with me...

no one is online and i dont wanna sleep.. feeling kinda lonely =/

well since my last blog a few things have been happening. another promise someone has made to me has been broken, which makes me think im trust people too easily maybe they think they can take advantage of me? im not sure... i was very dissapointed afterall we were all so excited it was going to be so memorable and fun; but its not going to happen anymore so theres no point wasting precious energy on this.

at work on sunday, my manager Lucky was selling his Eliptical Trainer :) i contemplated at first and tried to decided if it was a good buy; afterall i dont have good experience wen it comes to making good fitness choices... *looks at my fitness first gym membership that i have neglected! it expires in 4 days btw. im getting it for a good price (i think) $400- when he bought it for 600 i think? and whats good about it, is that its gonna go in my room which will make me really motivated. cause unlike the gym i have to get ready for it... like packing a backback with everything in it.. then walking down there in rain or shine. so yehhh. wats my goal? to look slim in my formal dress :) he should be dropping it off at my place on friday, im excited hehe

this week the year 12's have been doing some fundraising for the formal and other expenses they need by selling chocolate. at first i said i wasnt going to do it.. coz i should be studying and it will take too much effort but today i ended up getting a box, then meike loretta and i traded all the flavours 2gether. it is a bit of a pain asking people but its worth it - i think xP

there's less than 4 months till my trip to beijing, i am so excited but kinda scared. i have no idea what to expect and im nervous to meet the other side of my family i hardly know... i know my mum wants to go with me, shes asked me a few times but i dont want her to come; cause its something that i have to do on my own. when iv achieved this, i'll feel free? like iv accomplised what iv always wanted to do.

then when i come back to australia in 2010 there will be no more high school.. no more going to officeworks and buying books for the new school year. no more wearing a school uniform!! no more being told what to do, and being bound by rules left right and center.. no more studying what im not interested in.. we'll be free to experience the real world. the place where we arent protected; the place where there's nothing to hide behind.

it sounds scary but i know im really going to enjoy it, iv been waiting for it for a while. i know im not going to know anyone at Tafe its gonna be like starting year 7 all over again... meeting new friends, finding your way around and hopefully not getting lost :) then when you've settled in.. i'll meet really good friends, like i've done at Randwick Girls <3 but i wont forget you, you wont be a distant memory i'll try my best to keep it alive~

im so sick of school, its just a stupid routine that iv been following for the past 13 years. i wanna break the cycle, make it over and done with. i have no motivation at school i dont care if i pass or fail. but i do care for two subjects, food tech and hospitality; the only two that are important and beneficial for my career. why do i need to know about economics?? and the fiscal monetary policy, wtf is that anyway. why do i need to know what viriginia did in the 18 or 19 hundreds.. or learning about the techniques in Hamlet. its pointless and stupid, unless your going to be an english teacher like miss mack = =" who may i say really pisses me off; with her being so hypocritical. telling us how there's only so and so more lessons left to trial how we need to hurry up la la la. then SHE'S the one getting side tracked in all of our "discussions" (basically her having a little lecture). and history! how is learning about Herculaneum and Agrippina the Younger going to help me when im in my restaurant? or styling food for magazines and cookbooks? i sometimes wonder why i did stay for year 11 & 12. i kinda regret it. i could of been halfway through will my studies; could of gotten further its a waste of 2 years.

and now im sitting here; its now 1.46 :( and i feel wide awake now that iv had a nice long rant lol. since my last blog about a certain someone; things are good now altho im cautious about what i should believe. everyone should be cautious, it's what protects them from being hurt by others. its like a shield but if your not cautious the shield breaks and your vulnerable without it. for me, its like the shield didnt fit properly and sometimes it would fall if i didnt control it. is that good symbolism or what? xP lols

this year i realised how easy it for you to lose friends. one slip and they could be gone... one major mistake and there out of your life. i hope things work out because i saw happiness; but now its gone. we've had this conversation many times but you never seem to do anything about it. its like your stubborness is stopping you from resolving things :( and their confusion of what's a balance creates a barrier.

mmm i feel like a java mocha chip frapachino from starbucks with cream.  cravings >< lol. did you know some people have a fear of falling asleep? its like when they close there eyes and are just about to sleep they get really anxious cause they think they arent going to wake up again, cause its just blacknes that you see before you sleep; its a scary thing :(

one thing that is annoying me is the guy at the bus stop; he goes to RB. his so hard to read.. weve been catching the bus together for the past year or so. and when the bus is ariving at the curb of the bus stop he kinda... lags? and waits for me to get on. then he always sits somewhere behind me.. never in the seats infront o_O then once the bus neverrr came, and it was late. then the 317 came and then he asked me 'does this go to your school?' iv wondered.. if it didnt would he of waited for another bus for me? to make matters even weirder his extremely good looking. his eyes are gold. im srs. kinda reminded me of edward cullen anywayyy! and his tall and wears his uniform very preppy =]

i have no idea what his name is, what year, i think he knows where i live.. cause u can see my place from the bus stop.. and his always there first. but he always come from around the corner = =" ohh and his nash is like.. some european country.. not sure maybe serbia? but! his not always nice.. like a few times the bus has come.. and i started running for it. he saw me running but he just walked on the bus and let the doors close on me... made me kinda annoyed, but i banged on the doors (bus driver let me on xD) then gav the guy a dirty.
then a few weeks ago i saw him at night with maybe his little cousin?  so mysterious i swear.

well iv given jiaqi my password to facebook to stop me from procrasting and wasting time. but typical me has found a way to still do that.. by playing a game called 'bubble trouble' i used to play it during primary and with rizka and lucie in high skool.. its so addictive! then i surfed the net for a while and now im blogging :( someone should just take my laptop away from me all together, its a terrible habit. *sighs

ok, im going.. i'll be lucky if i get to sleep at 2.30 >< nights!

<3 blue.sky x

Posted at 8/4/2009 2:23:15 am by identicaltwins
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Saturday, July 25, 2009
broken promises

a promise is what you make to someone that you know you can keep; its something that you should both be able to trust and more importantly it needs to be true.

broken promises are something no one should have to experience; especially to the person you thought you could trust - that is what hurts the most because you thought you could rely on them.

now iv learnt my lesson. and the lesson is to guard yourself. if someone wants to make a promise dont believe them 100% no matter how hard it may be. dont trust people so easily - they might not be who you really think they are. dont give so much when you know you not getting enough back in return. dont waste energy on them when you know they arent worth it. and dont waste time thinking about them when it isnt going to do anything. at all.

its up to you if you want to change, like you said - theres only a few more months with us. so you should make them count.

i said i'll talk to you when im ready; but who knows when thats going to be. sometimes i can forgive easily but its hard for me to forget.

lets see what time can do for us...

blue.sky

Posted at 7/25/2009 1:12:34 am by identicaltwins
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Friday, July 10, 2009
她他她

把心情写出来。。就不会那么压抑了

看到她后我才明白 你会喜欢她不为过
她的确很可爱
你们十指相交 好像在向我显示什么
毕竟我们三个 我才是不幸福的
你们的眼睛里 我看到了快乐幸福的火光
一年后的你 会是那么冷漠

我没哭
我跟自己发誓 就会遵守诺言
虽然觉得自己很懦弱
但毕竟一切都会过去的
一年前的我好傻
在海边大叫的那天 有你陪着
我就这么无知的把这种感情理解为了永远
可谁知到
这是一场比金融风暴还残酷的感情海啸

把我吞噬 让我现在觉得自己这么空洞
没办法喜欢上别人
但心不痛了 多余的是脑子里的记忆
只要没有这些 我就能好好的过
好想跟你挥手再见

现在的我 有人陪伴
不会孤单
至少不会因为你 让我自己消失在这个世界上
我不会

Posted at 7/10/2009 5:10:27 pm by identicaltwins
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Tuesday, June 23, 2009
原来这就是所谓的迷茫

事情其实很简单 只不过是喜欢你
不是非要和你在一起 可你也没必要把事情做得这么绝

我本来想 单纯的喜欢你就好了
没有必要跟你说或是怎样 这样双方都不会有任何的压力
看来我错了 这样子的我 已经不是那种能够 敞开胸怀 面对别人的人了
难道我真的就是个傀儡娃娃 不会哭 没有感情么?
我想不是吧 看到你和她们 我也会哭 也哭过
可我不能天天守着你 毕竟我们都不一样了

我也试图喜欢过别人 很简单的喜欢就好
可不是我不愿意  在你之后有多少的男人 亲过 抱过 喜欢过
时间一过 抛在脑后忘的一干二净
我也想过放弃 我也恨过 爱情这个字眼 已经是恨之入骨了

我当然不能怪你 毕竟你没有错 
从一开始我就不应该把你逼到做选择的绝路上
可是说真的 没了你   无魂
已经迷迷糊糊的过了多少个夜晚
有时梦到你 就会突然惊醒
难道这也是我的错?

我怎么可能控制梦?
也许可以控制我白天想什么 突然想到你
好 我可以转移思想 暂时忘了你
可你就是在我脑海里纠缠不清
有多少时候我真的真的希望你死了 这样我就不会再被麻痹了
毕竟那个时候你已经不在了 我终于可以解脱自己
真正的爱上别人了

我真的很想说【BYE BYE BYE】
就这样走开。。。

~Dee.Jayy~
忘了好忘了好

Posted at 6/23/2009 5:53:55 pm by identicaltwins
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Saturday, June 13, 2009
JAYY is shiawase <3

so much has been happening these days after all those sad things but good thing that i'm blogging with a good mood right now x]

havnt blogged for so long, been quite a while hehehe, mandy's birthday, met YAP YAP the farmer, was very  cute =D talked abit over the net, and he's funny too, which is a good thing =] and yes yes before that was jiesi's birthdayy, also met nick and sunny, and both of them were at mandys' was so surprisd =O but also had a fun time at the icerink while skating with them x] and a week after that was shirley's party, i only could go to the dinner part cause cousin's family was coming over so cudnt stay too long ><"
And as for school.. had a number of lectures and the career expo, saw alot of people who i havnt seen for such long time. people lik, ashraf, akin,aniqa and mikhale etc etc. eco lecture was in hurstie so also ended up seeing matt ahah xD

about 2 days after that..i was close to getting high blood sugar and heart attack....caused by some people....maybe unintentionally but yes you did hurt me quite abit, and needed alot of sugar to keep myself up...*SIGH*  sometimes i really wish they -shinda- so then i dont have to think about things no more. but then again...you'd realise how important they are after you loose them, so maybe not...money really cant buy everything...so dont really wanna bother, just take every possibility in front of you, so you dont end up loosing everything. and i guess i did take the advice, and asked, but nooo, that wasnt the attitude i wanted, so turn away, nxt up. and plus, living is not to please the others, rather, enjoy while you can, you dont know when it ends.

As a result, yes i askd someone else, and i got the respond in the right way ;D that's how it supposed to be`  i'l see you there babes, i'll be waiting <3

xx
~Dee.Jayy~

難檤被噯僦那庅難 做の這些呮吥濄媞ゐㄋ葆護ぬ洎巳 吥褦蒅洎巳侢被伱傷嗐 ·涐吥崾伱·

Posted at 6/13/2009 10:54:31 pm by identicaltwins
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Sunday, June 07, 2009
early morning entry.

so the time is 1.45am on a sunday morning. what am i doing up? good question lol, its one that i cant even answer. alot of things have been happening since my last entry, but i cbb to go thru all of it. i had the Gala Dinner. the one where we had to cook as part of the scholarship thing i applied for. the night was REALLY fun, i was in charge on entrees and we had to plate up all 90 plates in less than 5 minutes. it was really exciting as well :) i met some really nice people too ^^

it was a really memorable experience, after we had finished plating up the desserts and the 90 guests had finished we got to come into the "Marble Room" and stand on the stage while everyone applauded us, then they all took photos and the flash was blinding lol. then they said that it was very close so they decided to mention the runner up as well as the winner of the scholarship. first they announced the ones for the Food&Beverage scholarship. the girl who won started crying lol. then they called the runner up for the Kitchen scholarship AND THEY CALLED UP ME!!! my jaw dropped to the floor lol i was shocked ahhaha and i made my way up on stage. BUT i must admit i am very dissapointed and annoyed that i didnt come FIRST. i really didnt like the guy that won  = =" such a know-it-all-smart-ass-rude guy! he wasnt even emotional wen he won the scholarship! LIKE WTH. does that mean that he didnt really WANT it?? if i won i would of cried as well, grrr damn SETH!

but then again, i didnt even think my application would get there on time.. so its aaall good lol. AND THEN afterwards i talked to the chef and he said that he could see my skills and that they would be suited for the hospitality industry and he said that i was consistent and i can concentrate well and that it was so close it was really hard to decide and they he said that i would love to work with me again and offered me an apprenticeship after my first year of studying next year!! WOOT :) i couldnt beleive it was over... all the training sessions and working in the kitchen, i still miss it >< and i just realised this was all one sentence lol!!

today im going over to loretta's place to watch HEAPS of movies lol :) we both planned it a few days ago it took a while to plan >< hopefully it will go well and everyone will have a great time. these are the movies were gonna be watching, they were voted by popular demand lol
1. The Dollmaker
2. Tale of Two Sisters
3. Battle Royale
4. Confessions of a Shopaholic
5. Bride Wars
6. Blair Witch Project (1&2) :D

i gotta buy chips first.. might buy that in kingsford before i meet up with lucie! everyone we invited is going EXCEPT for the retard and ling. SIGHHHHHH :( im tired now lol and its already 2am! GARGHH.

(Blue.Sky)

ps: from Jay
i shall add in some  <3  here is the end on this day, at 11:00pm like -ichinen mae-, forced myself not to think too much, because it hurts, i say, it's okay, because it wont end here, at least i'm not going crazy nor mad, because i didnt loose anything, and i know what i want. needing to be refreshed and head up for the new begining =]

xx
~Dee.Jay~

Posted at 6/7/2009 2:44:20 am by identicaltwins
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a collection of memories, from those identicaltwins - *lanny&jay s2

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